When you need a hug

Whether you're with yours or not this weekend, these happy-sad films about family will give you a safe space to feel your feelings -- even the bad ones.

Oct 13, 2024

When I think of Thanksgiving, I think of buttery mashed potatoes, trail walks, football on TV, red wine, crunchy leaves, golden fall foliage, and pumpkin pie.

But mostly, I think of family.

This weekend, whether the vibe around your Thanksgiving table is more like the Roy family (Succession), the Bergatto family (The Bear), or the Gellers (Friends), I hope your weekend feels like a hug, even if it comes with a twinge of bittersweet change or a dash of dysfunction.

📷 IMDB. L to R: Succession, The Bear, Friends.

Share watch this: feel that

Before I get to this week’s recommendation,

Here’s a taste of what I watched this week:

L to R: The Menendez Brothers (Netflix), Challengers (Amazon Prime), Love is Blind Season 7 (Netflix).

The Menendez Brothers. Free the Menendez Brothers. If you don’t agree, you might want to watch this Netflix doc.
Challengers. Very cool tennis cinematography — and I now understand why people thirst after Josh O’Connor.
Love is Blind U.S. Season 7. It’s toxic, it’s messy, and it’s ridiculous — but I just can’t look away. I much prefer the U.K. version.

I’ve also been reading, listening, and watching way too much press coverage on three films that are out in theatres now:

The Apprentice – I never thought I’d say, “I want to see the Donald Trump movie”, but here we are. I blame this on the fine acting skills of Jeremy Strong and Sebastian Stan.
A Different Man – This seems like my kind of movie. A bit dark, a bit funny, and with a healthy dose of self-analysis. Also — any amount of Sebastian Stan is something I would never be mad about. Not only is he ridiculously beautiful to look at, but he’s also a talented actor who disappears into his roles.
We Live in Time – They had me at Andrew Garfield, then I found out playwright Nick Payne (Constellations, A Life) wrote the screenplay, John Crowley (Brooklyn) directed it, and Florence Pugh would be co-starring. Sold! Looking forward to bawling my eyes out at this one.

THANKSGIVING + FAMILY + FEELINGS

THIS WEEK I RECOMMEND:

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019). Writer/Director: Marielle Heller

When Mr. Rogers feels mad, bad, or sad, what does he do with those feelings? This and many other questions are asked by Matthew Rhys’ character Lloyd Vogel in this touching, unique Mr. Rogers biopic.

What’s interesting is that Heller chose not to make beloved children’s television host Mr. Rogers the main character of the film, rather, she chose to tell the story through Vogel’s eyes, a cynical journalist based on real-life feature writer Tom Junod. This choice puts us in Vogel’s shoes as he tries to see beneath Rogers’ friendly demeanor to uncover the man inside the cardigan. Matthew Rhys’ performance is perfectly subtle and powerfully acted through his intensely expressive eyes.

This movie has become one of my most rewatched comfort films, which might sound odd as it explores many troubling topics like estranged families and death, but its thoughtful, compassionate mood feels like curling up on the couch on a rainy day — grey on the outside, warm and fuzzy on the inside.

While interviewing Mr. Rogers (Tom Hanks) for a feature story for Esquire magazine, Vogel explores his emotions — and how he processes them (or doesn’t). The film’s understated pacing, excellent dialogue, and compelling performances by Hanks, Rhys, and Chris Cooper (who plays Vogel’s estranged father) will pull you in close, remind you of the kindness and wisdom of Fred Rogers, and allow you to feel the characters’ emotions vicariously, creating space for you to reflect on your feelings and relationships.

The film’s director, Marielle Heller contrasts the muted greys and blues of the film with flashes of make-believe to invite you into Mr. Rogers’ world via playful animations, 3-D models, and detailed production design that bring you to the set of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, and back to your childhood.

Add to this the emotional, touching moments between Rogers and Vogel, cameos by Daniel Striped Tiger and Mr. McFeely, a perfectly paired soundtrack featuring songs like “The Promise” by Tracy Chapman and “Northern Sky” by Nick Drake, and an excellent supporting performance by Susan Kelechi Watson (who you might know as Beth Pearson on This is Us), and this film will have you in tears — the good kind.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood isn’t just about Mr. Rogers. It’s also about family, feelings, grief, and saying the things we want to say to the people we love while they’re still with us.

You can stream A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood on Netflix (leaving soon), and rent it from Amazon Prime, Google Play, YouTube, and Apple.

I ALSO RECOMMEND:

Boyhood (2014)

📷 IMDB. L to R: Patricia Arquette, Ellar Coltrane, Ellar Coltrane + Ethan Hawke.

If you know me, you know my Ethan Hawke fandom runs deep. I especially love it when he teams up with Director Richard Linklater and makes films where characters explore their lives and connections with others through in-depth, philosophical conversations.

Boyhood is a very unique film where yes, the dialogue is lengthy, but it’s also a perfectly imperfect slice of the life of an American boy. Filmed over 12 years with the same actors, it plays more like a docudrama, as the characters literally age on screen as their lives unfold.

Boyhood is about family, love, self-discovery, struggle, and all the feelings that come up for us as we travel through this life.

What movie feels like a hug to you?

I’d love to hear all about it:

Even more movies and TV series that will virtually hug you this weekend:

Will & Harper (2024) — Family takes many forms, and in this charming and relevant documentary, Will Ferrell and his friend Harper Steele navigate the open road and their decades-long friendship since Harper came out as trans.
Garden State (2004)— Zach Braff’s directorial debut is a happy-sad coming-of-age film about grief, young love, family, and feelings. When I first saw this movie, I fell in love with Braff’s self-deprecating, sweet style of storytelling. He and Peter Sarsgaard are two of my favourites, so it’s fun now to see them so young in this movie, even though some scenes didn’t age as well as they did.
CODA (2021) — A beautiful, emotional movie about a young woman who is the only hearing member of her family. Watch for the phenomenal acting of Troy Kotsur and the gorgeous melodies sung by Emilia Jones.
Philomena (2013) — A sad story about a mother and a son made lighter by Steve Coogan’s deadpan, intelligent humour, and Judi Dench’s sublime acting.

PAIRINGS:

You’re going to need some comfort drinks and metaphorical palate cleansers after you’ve cried out your feelings and awoken from your wine and turkey-induced nap.

Read:

Can You Say Hero? by Tom Junod — the Esquire article that inspired A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse: The Animated Story — by Charlie Mackesy.
Learning to Measure Time in Love and Loss — an essay by Chris Huntington published in the New York Times Modern Love column. (After you read this, I recommend you also listen to it, as read by Andrew Garfield.)

Listen:

Harper & Will Go West, a lovely song to accompany the documentary Will & Harper, written by Kristen Wiig & Sean Douglas, and sung sweetly by Wiig.
The Garden State Soundtrack - one of the best movie soundtracks in history. Yes, I said that.
Anything acoustic from the late ‘60s (Start with Joni or CSNY)

Eat:

A crisp, healthy salad to balance out your decadent Thanksgiving spread
The next-day turkey sandwich, of course
Soup, the ultimate comfort food
Salty potato chips — my favourite feel-good snack

Drink:

Mugs of hot tea
Apple cider
A Boulevardier cocktail
A nice Pinot Noir that pairs well with turkey or tofurkey
Water to replace your tears

What would you pair with these films? Tell me:

If you’re new here…

About watch this feel that:

My goal here is to create a vibe, an aesthetic, a mood that I hope will help you get to your desired emotional state. Maybe it’s not that serious for you, and you just want some movie & TV recs — and if that’s the case, that’s perfectly fine too! But, if you’re anything like me, movies & TV are more than just entertainment to you.

So, when I say “watch this: feel that” — it’s because I truly hope you get to feel all the feelings you need to feel, process, and understand when you watch the films & TV series I recommend.

P.S. — I’d love to hear from you! If you like a particular post, go ahead and tap the little heart, post a comment, send me a message, or share your answers to questions I’ve posted in the chat: